I'm going to write about feminism and last names. Names are very personal things, and I don't mean to offend or upset. Everyone should be able to choose the name they want (I did) and feel free from judgment. However, it is my opinion that the fact that women still change their last names after getting married is truly fucked-up and frightening. Why any woman would do that, I just can't understand. I suppose maybe she really hates her family, and I guess I can sympathize with that. If a woman wants to get rid of her last name, marriage is an easy scenario in which to do so. But I can't imagine why most women (with normal familial relations) would ever allow themselves to be subject to this identity change, shedding their own names to be blanketed under the name of their husbands' families.

Hyphenation was all the rage when feminists first started complaining about this, and it was a step in the right direction. Now, though, we should be past that. On the contrary, I still see it constantly (albeit, sans hyhen--just an extra last name tacked after the original, which I guess is more fashionable). Unless the husband adds his wife's last name to his own, it's still totally sexist. Why should I be Mrs. Jones Smith when my husband is just Mr. Smith? I can totally hear the hypothetical woman rationalizing the decision, trying to give herself props for being progressive while still submitting to antiquated, misogynistic traditions: "Well, I'll still have my own name, so I'll totally be independent and empowered. But I'll use my husband's name too, so he doesn't get his feelings hurt. Plus, I don't want to look like a radical!" It's a cop-out, a way for the bride to feel like she's doing right by womankind while still avoiding being a troublemaker, challenging societal norms. Fear of being one of those women, women who don't conform to the patriarchy, is truly depressing to me, because it seems like fighting to end sexism should be something all women (and men) aspire to and engage in. But it's way too common to play the part of the sweet little agreeable girl, never causing any friction and placating her husband's butthurtness over the fact that she doesn't want to label herself with his identity. So she "kind of" takes his name.

The only semi-reasonable argument I've ever heard for women to want to change their names (besides the aforementioned family hatred) is wanting to have the same last name as the children. I get it--you want to sound like a nuclear family unit. But isn't that when you should jam the two names together? Either both parents decide to take the two names, or just give the kids the two names. That way I can be Mrs. Jones and my husband can be Mr. Smith, and all our kids can be adorable little Jones Smith babies.

I don't mean to insult anyone. Women can make their own choices about their names. I'm just of the opinion that name-changing and name-adding are ridiculous and wrong.