This post is about my vagina. I'm not writing this to be shocking or outrageous or to elicit a response. I'm writing this because maybe somebody will read it and learn from it, or at least see a glimmer of hope. I'm writing this because when I'm at my wits end, fighting back tears and pulling out my hair, I sometimes find new ideas and success stories in women's personal blogs. Corny as it is, if this blog makes a difference in one woman's life, then I'm happy that I posted it. I hope that someone with the same problem that I have will read this and be inspired to keep trying for a cure.

The problem itself is vague, and doctors have never given me a definitive term to describe it. Words like "dyspareunia," "vaginismus," and "vestibulodynia" are most commonly used, and all of those, plus others, are applicable to the problem I have. What I've come to realize over the years is that the problem is really a combination of issues, which is what makes it so difficult to treat. I see doctors so frequently that spreading my legs for a pelvic exam feels as casual as a handshake for me, but none of them have been able to help me because they haven't worked comprehensively to treat all my conditions.

I've been using oral and topical medications for years, and though they stopped the problem from getting worse, they failed to make it better. I believe that these medications are important and that I need to take them, but I also believe that I won't get better with medication alone. Recently I discovered pelvic floor physical therapy (through my own research, not at the suggestion of a gynecologist, of course) and I've started seeing a physical therapist in Chicago. So far I've only attended two sessions, so I can't attest to whether or not it's working. But, I want to bring attention to the very fact that this type of physical therapy exists. Few women know that, and women with problems similar to mine should definitely give it a try. If medicine isn't making you better, it's time for something new. I also suggest seeing someone who can assess your dietary needs. A poor diet and certain food allergies can make a vagina very unhappy.

I know some people will view this blog post as just another instance of Crystal giving TMI, but I truly want to help people who identify with my problem. I know how frustrating it is to be a young woman completely denied the opportunity to have a normal sex life. It's heartbreaking to have a sexual dysfunction that will seemingly never be cured.

Aside from the ideas I find in other women's blogs, it's simply helpful to know that I'm not the only one suffering from these problems. It saddens me when I hear that some women have suffered not just for a few years as I have, but for multiple decades in the cases of some older women. What that tells me, though, is that women have gone on to live perfectly happy lives despite the problem.

It's important to have a support system, consisting not just of these other women, but also including doctors, family and friends. Just because this problem involves a "private" area doesn't mean you have to suffer alone. From the start I've known that something was wrong with me, and I've never had reservations about expressing my feelings. The fact that my friends are there to help lift my spirits is very encouraging. I'm also very fortunate to have a partner who is caring and understanding (even if he thinks I'm a bit wacky for exercising for 15 minutes a day with a dildo, therapist's orders), and who never pressures me in the least or makes me feel inadequate.

My support system and determination to cure this problem will, eventually, lead me to be successful in doing so. I try to keep an overall positive attitude and believe that someday I'll experience sexuality the way I deserve to. In the mean time, I'll keep searching for new ideas and sharing my ideas with others.

For starters, you could try physical therapy. Who knows, it may help.