Recently I attended SlutWalk Chicago, a protest against victim-blaming and sexual harassment. The protest started in response to a Toronto police officer advising women to avoid rape by not dressing like sluts. This is a prime example of victim-blaming and so shockingly backwards that it’s disheartening to hear that some people honestly foster this mindset. Forward-thinking people with any discernible amount of respect for women would argue that women should be able to wear whatever they want without putting themselves in danger. Men who rape are the problem, not women who are victims of rape. That’s what the protest is about. True, I don’t advocate for women to go out alone at night. The unfortunate reality is that women do have to take measures to protect themselves. But that’s a coping mechanism, not a solution. Controlling how women dress should not be society’s response to the rape problem.

There was also an element of slut pride, in the sense that female sexual agency was encouraged and celebrated. My favorite chant of the day was, “No means no, yes means yes, wherever I go or however I dress.” The idea is that women can act however they please, and that a refusal to have sex should be met with respect rather than rape, and an agreement to have sex should be free from societal judgment. I’ve always supported the option of sexual promiscuity as long as it’s for the right reasons. There’s nothing wrong with a woman choosing multiple sex partners or casual sex partners if she’s making the choice in accordance with her own interests and desires. (Growing up, these women weren’t sluts in my eyes, because I didn’t see promiscuity as negative. Sluts, to me, were girls who used sex for attention or validation. Instead of shaming these girls, though, it would be a lot more productive and beneficial to offer them positive reinforcement.) Even if these empowered promiscuous women are referred to as sluts, I don’t think their behavior has to be viewed with poor favor. A lesser mission of SlutWalk was to reclaim the word “slut” and shed a more positive light on it, simply applying it to any women who is in control of her sexuality and has a healthy, exciting sex life.

I think that any woman (or, at least, any woman who shares a lifestyle and the inherent privileges similar to mine) can be a slut, in the best possible way. We can make smart sexual choices and assert our sexuality in a way that addresses our independence and power. We can have great sex lives with one or a hundred partners, engaging in any activities we enjoy, and experience sexual fulfillment on our own terms, with the support and assistance of the men or women we choose to share our sex with. To me, that’s a form of empowerment, and if “slut” is a label for a woman with a positive sex life, then call me a slut. It’s a subjective term, and now I’m making the conscious choice to see it in a good way. My healthy sexual relationship and attitude toward sex make me a slut. I’m my boyfriend’s slut, and even more than that, I’m my own slut.